My Anti-Grammys: Nominees for the Best of 2005

You may recall in an earlier posting that I've checked out of the Grammy Awards. No longer do I care, really. I'm fed up with the commercial popularity contest they've become, and I'm annoyed that they consistently ignore anything challenging or exciting at all. So I've decided to hold my own (virtual) ceremony...I wonder what I'll wear? Hmmm...

Anyhow, after, like, at least 15 minutes of serious consideration and steel-trap concentration, I've come up with my nominees for what was, admittedly, a pretty damn good year for music. In fact, I think 2005 produced the best new music in at least 10-12 years.

Of course, this is all completely subjective, and I'm curious to hear what you all think. Feel free to make any comment you'd like...as long as it's not negative or critical in any way. :)

I'll announce my winners the day after Christmas.

ALBUM OF THE YEAR

Confessions on a Dance Floor—Madonna
The Forgotten Arm—Aimee Mann
As Is Now—Paul Weller
Body of Song—Bob Mould
Aerial—Kate Bush
Golddiggas, Headnodders and Pholk Songs—The Beautiful South

BEST BAND

Out Hud (for “How Long”)
Coldplay (for “Speed of Sound”)
Stereophonics (for “Dakota”)
They Might Be Giants (for “Alphabet of Nations”)
The Beautiful South (For Golddiggas… album)

BEST SOLO ARTIST

Paul Weller (For As Is Now album)
Marianne Faithfull (For “My Friends Have”)
Kate Bush (For Aerial album)
Aimee Mann (For The Forgotten Arm album)
Bob Mould (For Body of Song album)
Bettye Lavette (For I’ve Got My Own Hell to Raise album)

SONG OF THE YEAR

“From the Floorboards Up”—Paul Weller
“Hung Up”—Madonna
“Speed of Sound”—Coldplay
“Comfortably Numb”—Dar Williams
“King of the Mountain”—Kate Bush
“My Friends Have”—Marianne Faithfull

NEARLY WERE’S and ALMOST RAN’s (stuff that was really good but for whatever reason didn't quite reach the upper stratosphere):

Fiona Apple, “Extraordinary Machine”
Kathy Mattea, “Gimme Shelter”
Tiefschwarz and Tracey Thorn, “Damage”
Cowboy Junkies, “Isn’t it a Pity”
Paul Anka, Rock Swings
The Rosebuds, “Shake Our Tree”

Best of '05 Preview: TMBG Take on the ABCs!

ARTIST: They Might Be Giants

ALBUM: Here Come the ABCs!

STANDOUT TRACKS: "Alphabet of Nations," "Alphabet Lost and Found"

DISTINCTION: A delightful, catchy and fresh piece of work—possibly the duo’s best in the last decade. High atop that list is “Alphabet of Nations,” and its accompanying video. Although just a shade over two minutes, the song is one of the most unique and enjoyable things I’ve heard all year.

SOUND: Remember how cool "Schoolhouse Rock" was? Well, this is just as cool. If not a shade cooler. The alphabet's not just for kids anymore.

YEAR-END CUMULATIVE GPA: 3.75...TMBGrrrrreat!

Best of '05 Preview: Coldplay

BAND: Coldplay

SONG: "Speed of Sound"

ALBUM: X and Y

DISTINCTION: The Coldplay formula is followed here to the T—driving piano intro; major chord during verse, minor chord during chorus, falsetto here, sturdy bridge there—but it works, and it sounds great.

SOUND: See above.

CUMULATIVE YEAR-END GPA: 3.7...Martinlous!

Paul and Bambi: A Match Made in Heaven

From the "Is this really news?" department... The BBC is reporting that Bambi (or more accurately, the death of Bambi's mother in the Disney film) inspired Sir Paul to pursue animal rights. Apparently it wasn't Linda's tofu treats that did it...

And it ain't just the deer, either. "You look through a lot of these great stories - Dumbo, his mum is quite badly treated," said Paul.

Fairytale of New York: A Christmas Classic

It was Christmas Eve, babe
In the drunk tank...

Thus begins the heartbreaking single by the Irish band the Pogues and Kirsty MacColl, "Fairytale of New York," which was released in 1987. I remember catching the video by odd chance on a random video channel; it was my first glimpse of both the Pogues and Kirsty (I'd known her since she wrote Tracey Ullman's 1984 hit "They Don't Know" and sang backup for the Smiths and Morrissey) and it's a song I've loved more every year.

The story is simple--it's a duet between two washed-up folks who ruminate on their lost love and lost opportunities in the Big Apple ("When he first took my hand on a cold Christmas Eve," Kirsty sings, "He promised me Broadway was waiting for me").

If you've heard this song you'll probably remember these lyrics: You're a bum, you're a punk/You're an old slut on junk/Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed along with Merry Christmas your arse, I pray God it's our last. Not necessarily classic holiday sentiments; nonetheless, this single has gone on to become a UK Christmas tradition. It reached number 2 in the charts in '87 and will be re-released on December 19, with the proceeds from the single going to the Justice For Kirsty campaign. You see, it was that day five years ago when Kirsty MacColl was tragically killed by a speedboat while diving off the coast of Cozumel, Mexico. Her killer has never been formally sentenced and her mother, Jean MacColl, has worked tirelessly to ensure that justice be done in her daughter's death. Each year, a celebration of Kirsty's life is held at Soho Square in London. I was fortunate enough to attend this event in 2003, and during the post-ceremony singalong at a local pub, "Fairytale of New York" was sung in high spirits.

I highly encourage you to search out this song if you haven't heard it (and if you catch the video on a collection somewhere, you'll note Matt Damon plays a cameo in it). It's become one of my all-time Christmas favorites.

The boys of the NYPD choir still singing 'Galway Bay'
And the bells are ringing out for Christmas Day.

k.d. and Jake: Separated at Birth?

Have you ever seen these two in the same place?

The Most Depressing Christmas Song Ever

I defy anyone to find a more sad and depressing holiday tune than “The Little Boy that Santa Claus Forgot.” It’s perhaps the biggest downer of a Christmas song ever written. It was made popular by a singer called Vera Lynne, who was one of England’s most beloved post-WWII songstresses. Then it became the flip side of the Nat King Cole single “The Christmas Song,” and that’s where I encountered it.

I had the 45 of the Nat King Cole song, and I remember playing it on my plastic record player over and over. Of course, I always played B-sides, too…and when I discovered “The Little Boy that Santa Claus Forgot,” I became somehow morbidly fixated on it. I’d play it repeatedly and burst into tears every single time. It was like I wanted to feel lousy for this poor kid. I mean, listen to just a snippet of the lyrics:

“He’s the little boy that Santa Claus forgot
And goodness knows, he didn’t want a lot
He wrote a note to Santa for some soldiers and a drum
And it broke his little heart when he found that Santa hadn’t come
In the streets he envies all those lucky boys
Then wanders home to last year’s broken toys”

..and here’s the real kicker….

“I’m so sorry for that laddie
He hasn’t got a Daddy!
He’s the little boy that Santa Claus forgot.”

Now I personally think that degree of sentimentality should be illegal. Of course, it was a hit in the UK and Nat King Cole obviously introduced it to a very large US audience. You never hear “The Little Boy that Santa Claus Forgot” these days. God, I wonder why. Maybe it’s to prevent the suicide rate that’s already high around the holidays from going through the roof!

Anyhow, I remember very vividly one December afternoon, listening to this song and bawling like a freak, and my mom coming in and ripping the record off the turntable, saying “WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO YOURSELF?” She had a point. I was, after all, 6 or 7 years old. I was supposed to be full of glee, not forcing myself to some overly dramatic display of maudlin sentimentality.

I wonder what that little incident said about me? I’m sure you have your thoughts.

Best of '05 Preview: Marianne Faithfull's Beautiful 'Poison'

ARTIST: Marianne Faithfull

ALBUM: Before the Poison

STANDOUT TRACKS: "My Friends Have," "The Mystery of Love"

DISTINCTION: Don't let the pretty cover shot fool you. Faithfull has one of the most startling and discomforting voices recording today. "My Friends Have" is the best PJ Harvey song PJ Harvey didn’t record (although in fairness, Harvey does play guitar and sings background vocals on this standout track).

SOUND: Rough, raw, hard and melodic. You don't forget this record. Faithfull has had a renaissance and for good reason. This is not the wide-eyed blonde bombshell who hung out with the Stones in 1966. Faithfull has matured exponentially, and her smoky, rough voice is immediately identifiable and unforgettable.

YEAR-END CUMULATIVE GPA: Before the Poison: 3.4..."My Friends Have": 3.85: [Faith]full-filled fantasy.

Best of '05 Preview: Dar Gets 'Comfortable'

ARTIST: Dar Williams

SONG: ""Comfortably Numb"

ALBUM: My Better Self

DISTINICTION: There were a lot of great cover songs released by artists in 2005. This album track breathes a new life into Pink Floyd's standard and is the best cover version of any song I've heard in a long time.

SOUND: Amazing multi-layered vocal arrangement with guest Ani DiFranco, understated yet powerful. A heavy sound but a refreshing take on an overdone (and to some degree overrated) 70s power-rock classic.

YEAR-END CUMULATIVE GPA: 3.8...Darn it, that's good stuff.

A Very Joni Christmas

No one who knows me will be the least bit surprised that I've chosen to feature two Joni Mitchell songs as part of my holiday postings.

"River," of course, is the classic track from the eternally perfect Blue album (1971). It's the most melancholy and painfully self-aware Christmas song I can think of...and it fits perfectly as part of Blue as a whole and as a song that's been covered by everyone from Travis to Robert Downey, Jr. to Holly Cole to Indigo Girls to Billy Squier to Manilow to Linda Ronstadt to Heart (you get the picture). It's taken on a life of its own in the 34 years it's been around, but no version anywhere even comes close to Joni's haunting and spare reading (I can argue that Downey's version may be the closest to capturing the pain and resolution of the original). It's one of those songs that work whether sung by a man or a woman, and it's destined to be part of holiday compilations (by artists who want a "serious" song on their Christmas albums) for years to come. If you've never heard it, shame on you. Go to iTunes instantly and download it. Those are your Christmas orders.

And let's talk about another, lesser-known Joni Christmas song--a track called "Face Lift" from the 1998 Taming the Tiger LP, which is sadly the last album of original material Joni recorded and will probably record (though we always can hope for a Christmas miracle). "Face Lift" centers around an awkward moment on Christmas morning, when an adult Joni shows up at her mom's house with her boyfriend Donald. Suddenly, her mother wigs out and tells her she should be ashamed running around and sleeping with this guy (even though it was her mother who introduced the two) --"shacked up downtown, making love without a license." Joni tries to talk some sense into her aged mom, arguing that "Why is this joy not allowed? For God's sake, we're middle aged, mama, and time moves swift; you know, happiness is the best face lift." The song ends with no reconciliation, but a lovely image of being tucked in bed and looking out over a frozen river and the Christmas lights dancing off the snow and ice. It's a song that makes you smile with perhaps more than a little recognition. "Mothers are mothers are mothers," Joni said when she sang this song live on the 1999 Painting With Words and Music DVD.

These two songs are starkly different. Even though they both have spare arrangements ("River" is just Joni and piano; "Face Lift" is Joni and that remarkable, otherworldly sounding DG8 guitar she's been playing on in recent years--with the obligatory Wayne Shorter sax trill thrown in for good measure), "Face Lift" offers hope that love has a healing power while "River" is a snapshot of depression. Additionally, the life experience and worldly age Joni brings "Face Lift" is a far cry from "River" and its paean to self-inspection.

Final analysis? Both A material; both amazing pieces of work; both fantastic parts of a genius ouevre.